“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking.” – Elayne Boosler

“It’s not the men in my life that counts–it’s the life in my men.” – Mae West

“Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.” – Mae West

“A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.” – Mae West

“An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.” – Agatha Christie

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.” – Robin Williams

“Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.” – Oscar Wilde

“Men always want to be a woman’s first love – women like to be a mans last romance.” – Oscar Wilde

“Even the wisest men make fools of themselves about women, and even the most foolish women are wise about men” – Theodore Reik