Archives de catégorie : Joke of the Day

Joke of the Day

John Heffron: Older Women

I’m not saying older women are sluttier; I’m just saying, an older woman isn’t gonna make you wait ’til three in the morning ’cause she’s got sh*t to do the next day. She’ll probably have you done by 10. She’s got a meeting to get up for. Heck, if she has kids, you might get to leave with one of those cool Lunchables boxes — get yourself a little snack pack for all the work you put in.

Ryan Hamilton: Crazy Car Dealerships

Car dealerships are the craziest. These people throw a party. Did you ever notice that? They get the streamers out. They got balloons up like they’re conducting weather experiments or something. They got the search lights out there like Batman’s gonna show up and apply for credit. They’re giving away free hot dogs like it’s no big deal. ‘Yeah, I’ll take a $25,000 automobile if you throw in a hot dog. You bet I will.’

Aziz Ansari: Rap Producer Boast

I heard this guy going around talking about how he was this big rap producer, and he was just going around and boasting and bragging. And in one of those bragging sessions, I heard him just tell somebody, ‘Hey, hey — why don’t you try making four beats a day for two summers?’ What a dangerously specific challenge that is.