Category: Quotes of the day

Noelie Altito

“The shortest distance between two points is under construction.”

Robert Wilensky

“We’ve heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that …

Grabel’s Law

“2 is not equal to 3, not even for large values of 2.”

Jeffery F. Chamberlain

“In a country as big as the United States, you can find fifty examples of anything.”

Ashley Montague

“Science has proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty without any proof.”

Lichty and Wagner

“Oh, I don’t blame Congress. If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I’d be irresponsible, too.”

Lyle Alzado

“I don’t really trust a sane person.”

Peter York

“Rock and roll is the hamburger that ate the world.”

Evelle J. Younger

“An incompetent attorney can delay a trial for months or years. A competent attorney can delay one even longer.”

Joe Weinstein

“My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That’s almost $7.00 in dog money.”

Mogens Jallberg

“In democracy it’s your vote that counts; In feudalism it’s your count that votes.”

Maurice Sendak

“There must be more to life than having everything.”

W. L. George

“Wars teach us not to love our enemies, but to hate our allies.”

William J. Broad

“The crux… is that the vast majority of the mass of the universe seems to be missing.”

Alan Woods

“Blame someone else and get on with your life.”

Mark Ardis

“A specification that will not fit on one page of 8.5×11 inch paper cannot be understood.”

Greek Proverb

“First secure an independent income, then practice virtue.”

Richard Diran

“I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.”

Wendell Johnson

“Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.”

Fritz Perls

“I am not in this world to live up to other people’s expectations, nor do I feel that the world must live up to mine.”

Mickey Mouse

“Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes.”

Dana Carvey

“I’m thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four-year-old level.”

Peter Sellers

“There used to be a real me, but I had it surgically removed.”

Dante Gabriel Rossetti

“The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank.”

Pat Paulsen

“Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.”

Kilgore Trout

“The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.”

Shirley Temple

“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.”

Caskie Stinnett

“A diplomat… is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.”

Mick Jagger

“It’s all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.”

Gordon R. Dickson

“Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.”

Norm Crosby

“When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury …

Richard Pryor

“I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, “I wanna grow up and be a critic.””

Blore’s Razor

“Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier.”