Kilgore Trout
“The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.”
Category: Quotes of the day
Shirley Temple
“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.”
Caskie Stinnett
“A diplomat… is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.”
Mick Jagger
“It’s all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.”
Gordon R. Dickson
“Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.”
Norm Crosby
“When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury …
Richard Pryor
“I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, “I wanna grow up and be a critic.””
Blore’s Razor
“Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier.”
Juan Ramon Jiminez
“If they give you ruled paper, write the other way.”
Amy Carter
“No.”
Phillip Lopate
“The prospect of a long day at the beach makes me panic. There is no harder work I can think of than taking myself off …
Joey Bishop
“Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth …
Jeannette Rankin
“You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.”
Jimmy Demaret
“Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.”
Andrew S. Tanenbaum
“The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.”
Glaser and Way
“The problem with any unwritten law is that you don’t know where to go to erase it.”
Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Why is it that when you awake to the world of realities you nearly always feel, sometimes very vividly, that the vanished dream has carried …
Vincent Canby
“We are drawn to our television sets each April the way we are drawn to the scene of an accident.”
Louise Beal
“Love thy neighbour as yourself, but choose your neighbourhood.”
J. Robert Oppenheimer
“Any man whose errors take ten years to correct is quite a man.”
Lester J. Pourciau
“There is no monument dedicated to the memory of a committee.”
Roald Dahl
“We have so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it.”
Ken Olsen
“There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home.”
Alan Patrick Herbert
“The conception of two people living together for twenty-five years without having a cross word suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in …
Gerald Nachman
“Nothing fails like success.”
Tommy Smothers
“Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT’S bad for you!”
J. W. Schopf
“For four-fifths of our history, our planet was populated by pond scum.”
Bernard Berenson
“Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago.”
Rick Warren
“If you’re alive, there’s a purpose for your life.”
Andrew W. Mathis
“It is bad luck to be superstitious.”
Evan Davis
“Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.”
Edgar Wilson Nye
“Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.”
Robert A. Humphrey
“An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.”
Ron Nesen
“Nobody believes the official spokesman… but everybody trusts an unidentified source.”
Harry Shearer
“If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?”
H. Mumford Jones
“Ours is the age that is proud of machines that think and suspicious of men who try to.”
Tellis Frank
“The worst thing about Europe is that you can’t go out in the middle of the night and get a Slurpee.”
J. Hart
“Fig Newton: The force required to accelerate a fig 39.37 inches per sec.”
Clyde B. Aster
“When someone tells you something defies description, you can be pretty sure he’s going to have a go at it anyway.”
Ludwig Erhard
“A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece.”