Category: Quotes of the day

“For every person who wants to teach there are approximately thirty people who don’t want to learn–much.”

“Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them.”

“Somebody has to do something, and it’s just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us.”

“It’s actually easy to tell if your house is haunted: It isn’t. Grow up.”

“Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.”

“If you haven’t found something strange during the day, it hasn’t been much of a day.”

“After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been …

“Every crowd has a silver lining.”

“Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing.”

“To err is dysfunctional, to forgive co-dependent.”

“Bureaucrats write memoranda both because they appear to be busy when they are writing and because the memos, once written, immediately become proof that they …

“A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way.”

“Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.”

“The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide-open spaces surrounded by teeth.”

“Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting.”

“The problem with political jokes is they get elected.”

There are certain narrow, unimaginative, and autocratic old people who seem to call out the most mischievous, and sometimes the worst traits in children. Discuss

“The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth that it prevents you from achieving.”

“I’ve gone into hundreds of , and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to …

“Anyone who works is a fool. I don’t work – I merely inflict myself upon the public.”

“Pay no attention to what the critics say… Remember, a statue has never been set up in honor of a critic!”

“The aim of education is the knowledge not of facts but of values.”

“To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep.”

“You get fifteen democrats in a room, and you get twenty opinions.”

“I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated.”

“A lie told often enough becomes the truth.”

“People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.”

“A month in the laboratory can often save an hour in the library.”

“I am just going outside and may be some time.”

“A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.”

“My parents only had one argument in forty-five years. It lasted forty-three years.”

“The great thing about television is that if something important happens anywhere in the world, day or night, you can always change the channel.”

“Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.”

“For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three.”

“We’re not lost. We’re locationally challenged.”

“The future is here. It’s just not widely distributed yet.”

“In case you’re worried about what’s going to become of the younger generation, it’s going to grow up and start worrying about the younger generation.”

“Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn’t learn of it for six months.”

“The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.”

“There are only two kinds of scholars; those who love ideas and those who hate them.”