“It is not enough to do good; one must do it the right way.”
“Water is the most neglected nutrient in your diet but one of the most vital.”
“Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn’t learn of it for six months.”
“The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.”
“There are only two kinds of scholars; those who love ideas and those who hate them.”
“You couldn’t even prove the White House staff sane beyond a reasonable doubt.”
“I dream, therefore I become.”
“To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it the more fit for its prime function …
“Intuition isn’t the enemy, but the ally, of reason.”
“I’m worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It’s not holding a charge.”
“The whole world is in revolt. Soon there will be only five Kings left–the King of England, the King of Spades, The King of Clubs, …
“Washington is the only place where sound travels faster than light.”
“I’m a father; that’s what matters most. Nothing matters more.”
“Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.”
“I think my mom put it best. She said, ‘Little girls soften their daddy’s hearts.'”
“To sway an audience, you must watch them as you speak.”
“If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves there wouldn’t be enough to go around.”
“Never judge a book by its movie.”
“So if it seems that some of what I’ll have to say in the pages to come doesn’t reflect the mellowing of age, that’s only …
“You create your opportunities by asking for them.”
“Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam, / Be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home.”
“Cats regard people as warmblooded furniture.”
“You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough.”
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?”
“Never refuse any advance of friendship, for if nine out of ten bring you nothing, one alone may repay you.”
“As America celebrates Memorial Day, we pay tribute to those who have given their lives in our nation’s wars.”
“Operationally, God is beginning to resemble not a ruler but the last fading smile of a cosmic Cheshire cat.”
“If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?”
“Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well. Think about it.”
“I have the heart of a child. I keep it in a jar on my shelf.”
“America’s one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.”
“Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.”
“I simply cannot understand the passion that some people have for making themselves thoroughly uncomfortable and then boasting about it afterwards.”
“In Mexico we have a word for sushi: Bait.”
“Abundance is, in large part, an attitude.”
“Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.”
“The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.”
“Silence is one of the great arts of conversation, as allowed by Cicero himself, who says, ‘there is not only an art, but an eloquence …
“Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody …
“Estimated amount of glucose used by an adult human brain each day, expressed in M&Ms: 250”